Dear WHS Parents,

Back in the fall semester, PeaceBox: Mindfulness on the Move made its debut on campus after being donated to our campus as a part of the PeaceBox “Summer of Giving” program*. Over 400 students, staff, and community members visited the PeaceBox to learn quick mindfulness tools intended to reduce stress, improve focus, and enhance wellness.

Our students are currently tackling AP and STAAR testing and are gearing up to finish out strong during finals. In order to assist our students with this we have lined up a couple stress-reduction activities for “dead week”. The PeaceBox will be back on campus at the Chap Court on Tuesday, May 21st from 8am to 6pm. Additionally, Teen Teachers are working to bring emotional support dogs to campus next week as well.

WHS students, staff, and parents will have the option to participate in complimentary mindfulness exercises ranging from 5 to 20 minutes in length. Students will have access to the PeaceBox with teacher permission during the school day and their lunch periods. The PeaceBox will also be open to the community from 8am until the school bell rings at 8:50am and again from 4:15pm until 6pm. 

If you do not want your child to visit the PeaceBox please email Student Support Counselor Kristi Waidhofer .

The partnership with PeaceBox began last year when Westlake High School PTO funded a 6-week Mindfulness@Schools training offered by PeaceBox.  Sixteen WHS counselors and teachers participated and received certificates of completion.  Eanes ISD has a district wide initiative to keep focus on our educational objectives of communication (respect, civility, and tolerance), SEL - Social Emotional Learning (respect for all, empathy resilience), and innovation (always striving for best practice).  We believe this evolving partnership with PeaceBox will continue to advance us in each direction. 

If you would like to learn more about mindfulness, Stacy Thrash, owner of PeaceBox, presented at our Speaker Series in the fall and her presentation is here. More information about PeaceBox can be found at https://peacebox.com. 

*PeaceBox Summer of Giving program:
Austin-area Businesses partner with PeaceBox to donate "PEACE DAYS" mindfulness education and practice to eligible schools.  For every 2 days an employer hires PeaceBox to train their employees, one PEACE DAY will be donated to an eligible school.   

Stay Healthy, Chaps! 
​-Kristi Waidhofer

It has been a FABULOUS year of Speaker Series presentations. If you missed one or just want to revisit a presentation, they are all available in the Good Reads section. 

This week I had to dedicate the blog to this Speaker Series presentation because it was just so good! Even if you don't have seniors YET, it's never too early to begin learning to this advice! 

Take a watch and enjoy! 

Stay Healthy, Chaps!
-Kristi Waidhofer​

This post is for those with a stressful job. It’s likely that your place of work has a culture of busy-ness. By this, I mean that your office is hectic, everyone has massive to-do lists, and people are extremely busy— your boss may even be too busy to give you feedback. More and more recently, the American workplace culture has been defined by an incessant call for productivity. The attitude is that if you’re busy, you’re important. You’re needed. A never-ending to-do list, working lunches, and email answering from your cell phone at midnight are characteristic traits. Everyone wants to feel valued and respected in their professions, but constantly allowing yourself to be swamped can get unhealthy very quickly. Brené Brown, an esteemed professor at the University of Houston, calls this culture “exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth.”
People who consider themselves workaholics might recognize that their work-life balance is disproportionate, but come up short with solutions. Often, those people feel too stressed to adequately enjoy quality time with their friends or families. They may even feel guilty when they do non-work-related activities, feeling preoccupied with emails that are piling up or a project with an approaching due date that needs their attention.

Brené Brown was interviewed in this Washington Post article, and she explained this concept further: 
“One of the things that I found [in her research] was the importance of rest and play, and the willingness to let go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth. A lot of people told me that when they put their work away and when they try to be still and be with family, sometimes they feel like they’re coming out of their skins. They’re thinking of everything they’re not doing, and they’re not used to that pace. So when we make the transition from crazy-busy to rest, we have to find out what comforts us, what really refuels us, and do that. We deserve to not just put work away and be in service of someone else. What’s really meaningful for us? What do we want to be doing? That happens not just in work culture, I see it even with teenagers who now have four and five hours of homework and go to bed at one in the morning. We don’t know who we are without productivity as a metric of our worth. We don’t know what we enjoy, and we lose track of how tired we are.”

To practice self-care and establish an appropriate work-life balance, setting boundaries might be necessary. Brené Brown said:
“We have to encourage people to set boundaries around their work and respect them when they hold them. And I think as leaders we have to model that. One thing that I tell people all the time is, I’m not going to answer a call from you after nine o’clock at night or before nine o’clock in the morning unless it’s an emergency. To me, a leader is someone who holds her- or himself accountable for finding potential in people and processes. And so what I think is really important is sustainability. If it’s crunch time and from Tuesday morning through Wednesday night all bets are off, then there should be some real boundary holding Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. When people just don’t make themselves available, I think it’s healthy, and I think it’s smart.”

It’s great to be devoted to your job (or, if you're a student, to school), and it’s even better to consistently make efforts to do your best. We all need our jobs: we have bills to pay and mouths to feed! But if you’ve been feeling like your job has infected the rest of your life, do yourself (and your loved ones) a favor by taking a step back and setting some healthy boundaries.

Since setting boundaries is much easier said than done, here are some good reads with solid tips on how to do this:

• Setting Boundaries at Work
• 7 Ways to Advocate for Yourself at Work
• How to Advocate for Yourself in High School
• 10 Steps to Being an Effective Self Advocate

Stay healthy, Chaps!
--Kirsten Dalquist, MSSW Intern
​

Confidence is coveted but sometimes hard to achieve. Social media has made it very easy for us to compare ourselves to others, which is a surefire way to lose confidence in ourselves. We might see a picture of someone who we perceive to be more attractive than us. Or we might see someone posting about positive feedback that they received at work, which might make us doubt our own abilities if we are less prone to receiving positive feedback. Such comparison facilitates a lack of confidence in ourselves and our abilities. 

Confidence makes us happier, feel more positive, and attracts other people to us. I believe that, for the most part, we all want to be confident. But the truth is that a great number of us are self-critical and have low self-esteem. Some people may think it would be impossible to ever be confident in themselves. Maybe an all-encompassing, permanent confidence in every aspect of yourself is impossible-- we all need to critically appraise ourselves every once in a while-- but raising your confidence levels is both possible and within your control. If you want to be a more confident, self-assured person, here are some tips that may help you reach your goal. 

Tips for increasing confidence: 

• Eliminate negative thoughts. Although it takes some practice, eventually you can learn how to identify and throw away your automatic negative thoughts. Read our blog post here about how thoughts are just thoughts-- involuntary events that do not reflect the “truth” or reality. With practice, you can train your mind to avoid subjects you don’t want to spend time thinking about. For example, if you tend to be self-critical of yourself throughout the day, you can learn to recognize when you're about to go down that negative path in your mind, intercept the thought, and move to a more positive thought.
• Clean your body. This may seem like a strange addition to this list, but the truth is that most of us feel our best when we are looking and smelling our best. Give yourself adequate time to get ready in the mornings, and make sure you are practicing good hygiene skills.
• Exercise. Moving our bodies increases the release of chemicals called endorphins, which trigger positive feelings in our bodies and minds. Exercising frequently makes us feel productive, more energetic, and happier.
• Push yourself to get out of your comfort zone. Often, when faced with a task we haven’t tried before, we are not confident in our abilities. A little practice is all we need to become more familiar with the task and start taking steps toward confidence! 
• Give yourself time to prepare. It’s hard to be confident if you feel unprepared to do something. You might doubt that you will do well if you are unprepared. Think of giving a presentation: if you haven’t prepared what you’re going to say, you might flounder in front of your audience. To avoid this, practice! Give yourself plenty of time to prepare and practice. You will thank yourself.
• Stand tall. Amy Cuddy’s research (watch this fascinating Ted Talk!) suggests that our bodies can convince our minds to be more confident. For example, standing straight is a much more empowering stance than hunching over with our arms crossed. The latter conveys discomfort to other people and to ourselves; the former conveys confidence.
• Set small goals and achieve them. This is a surefire way for gaining trust in your abilities. We often set large, lofty goals for ourselves and get discouraged when we fail to meet them. Yet, are we being realistic with ourselves? If we have never run before but want to start, setting a goal of jogging for three minutes every day is much more realistic than immeditaly being able to run three miles. Achieving a small goal is a stepping stone to bigger goals, and it makes us feel good about ourselves along the way. 

These are just a few ideas of how to achieve the confidence that you deserve! If you want to read more ideas, check out this article. 

Because confidence is sometimes misconstrued as arrogance, I just want to point out that it is possible to be confident:

• Without being arrogant or narcissistic
• While acknowledging that other people also have things to be confident about. Just because someone else is beautiful does not mean you are not! 
• While accepting the fact that, as human beings, we all have imperfections. That  doesn't mean we aren't still awesome! 

Stay happy and healthy, Chaps!
--Kirsten Dalquist, MSSW Intern

Happy International Women’s Day (March 8), Chaps! We hope you get the chance to check out Westlake Theatre’s production of The Women of Lockerbie this Friday at 7pm!

This blog post is for all the ladies. In the spirit of celebrating women, let’s take a moment to point out that even though our culture often uses its standards of physical beauty to measure the success or importance of women, women are so much more than how they physically appear to others. Instead of measuring your worth by how you look, which is largely out of your control, we suggest that you make an effort to be proud of yourself today for the things you do have control over, including:

• Being great at whatever it is you do
• Successfully raising wonderful teenagers
• Being a great mother/wife/partner/daughter/friend/woman in general
• Maintaining your job if you are employed
• Engaging in any hobbies you have
• “Small” things, like cooking a delicious meal or maintaining your exercise regimen

Women are changing the world in important ways. Women may be beautiful, but they are also intelligent, strong, compassionate, and powerful! Here are a few reasons to love and appreciate women:

• Women are innovative! Did you know that computer software was invented by a woman (Grace Hopper, 1950s)? Or that a woman invented caller ID (Dr Shirley Ann Jackson, 1970s)? The dishwasher, windshield wipers, and Kevlar (the material used in bulletproof vests and body armor) were also all invented by women.
• Women are brave. If it weren’t for brave and strong women like Susan B. Anthony, who was willing to fight against oppression beginning in the 1860s, women’s rights would still be severely limited today. One hundred years ago, women did not have the right to vote-- and thanks to the courageous voices of women, women enjoy many more freedoms today than were thought possible a century ago.
• ​Women generally have a natural, powerful sense of empathy. Perhaps it is because they are bearers of new life, or maybe it is because they are socialized to express their feelings and offer support to others. Either way, women are known for their compassion and empathy. Think of Harriet Tubman, who risked her life leading her fellow enslaved people to freedom using the Underground Railroad in the mid-1800s.
• ​Women make life better! Think of Ellen Degeneres, who constantly makes us laugh with her sharp wit and who has made important strides toward LGBTQ acceptance and equality in our culture.
• ​Women shaped you into the person you are today. Think of your mother, or your mother figure, whose nurturing and support fostered your growth. 

Those are only five measly reasons why women rule. Here’s the thing, though: often, women do not believe that they are great. The United States has a history of discrimination against women, and that legacy lives on today even though women have gained many freedoms. Women are sometimes very hard on themselves, and may believe harmful things about themselves or other women that are untrue and discriminatory. This phenomenon is called internalized oppression. Psychology Today describes internalized oppression as “when we accept or “buy-in to” the negative and inferiorizing messages that are propagated about who we are,” which means that we “have begun to internalize the oppression that we experienced.” Even if a particular woman has never personally been the victim of oppression, the United States culture nevertheless teaches (wrongly, of course) that women are inferior by paying them less than men, taking them less seriously (i.e. there are some studies that show that doctors take women’s pain less seriously than men’s) and holding much more importance on their physical looks than men are subjected to. These cultural messages can be culprits of internalized oppression.

Furthermore, sometimes, we “learn that having certain traits, being a member of a particular group, and being who we are, are not good enough or are not desirable. Sometimes, we even learn to hate our traits, our groups, [or] ourselves.” You may see this internalized oppression in some of your female friends, who, for example, may believe that they are not cut out to be as successful as their male colleagues. Or, you may hear a woman prefacing her contributions to discussions with “This may be a stupid question, but--” or “I could be wrong, but--.” Such admissions of self-doubt are not always, but can be, manifestations of hundreds of years of oppression against women that taught that women are not as intelligent as men.

Another facet of internalized oppression is biased views or beliefs toward others in your category. Bustle has a good example of this: “When we consider ourselves a rare exception to our gender for being easygoing or strong or more focused on inner qualities than appearance, we insult all women and therefore ourselves. As long as we view ourselves or a select few women as the exception, we will not change the rule.”

Obviously, internalized oppression is damaging to women’s mental health. Believing negative messages about women can cause depression, anxiety, self-doubt, and even self-hatred. Eating disorders, self-harm, and even suicide could result. To prevent these awful potentials, here is a list of simple tasks we could all engage in:

• Be supportive of the women in your life. Listen to them, validate their emotions, and be a good friend. If your friend/mother/sister is unnecessarily self-critical, point this out to her and remind her that she is wonderful!
• ​Allow yourself to be supported. Open your heart to the women in your life, whose empathy, compassion, and friendship will be a shining light in your life.
• Question your views and beliefs. Critical appraisal might reveal that your insecurities largely stem from the cultural messages you’ve been receiving. Your beliefs about yourself and other women might not reflect the truth, but instead a learned stereotype.
• Model confidence for your daughters. Unfortunately, well-meaning but self-critical mothers can accidentally teach their children to be self-critical. Often, mothers don’t realize that the reasons they are self-critical have to do with internalized oppression: for example, a mother might believe that women are supposed to be super skinny (in order to take up as little space as possible), and might accidentally model disordered eating for her children.

Instead of putting ourselves down, let's work on empowering ourselves and each other to fulfill our highest potentials!

To clarify the purposes of this blog post: We were all born into this society and this culture, and the way things are are the fault of no one living today. Hopefully no one has felt “blamed” while reading this post. There are many wonderful men alive today who gladly fight against oppression of women, and we are irrevocably thankful for you.

Note: internalized oppression applies not only to women, but to all historically oppressed and marginalized groups, including the LGBTQ community, racial minorities, religious minorities, etc. Read more about it here and here.

If you are a woman, please take some time to appreciate, love, and care for yourself today. If you are not a woman, make sure to give the women in your life the support, encouragement, and appreciation that they deserve!

Hungry for more female empowerment? Check out these resources:

• A Mighty Girl
• Smart Girls
• Brene Brown
• Rachel Hollis
• Locally: Barb Steinberg & GENAustin 
• Nike's powerful new ad

Stay healthy, Chaps!
--Kirsten Dalquist, MSSW Intern

This week's blog post comes to you from Mindful.org. 

"Over the past few weeks of our Self-Care Series, we’ve defined self-care, examined the reasons why it’s so hard to consistently engage in self-care practices, and made a case for why self-care does not need to be an individual pursuit. We’ve agreed to begin looking at self-care as a long-term pursuit, one in which taking care of our inner and outer selves are equal parts of the equation. We’ve also learned how to develop coping strategies that can help us and others in our community weather the struggles of self-care with grace and steadiness.
The unsung common thread running through each topic we’ve covered over the past 6 weeks is that everyone needs their own Self-Care Plan, otherwise known as a Coping Strategy.  

Three Reasons You Need a Self-Care Plan
A Self-Care Plan is an intervention tool that keeps you from being completely sucked into the vortex, saving you when you find yourself standing on the precipice gazing into the dark abyss. It’s a fail-safe, reated by you, and filled with your favorite self-care activities, important reminders, and ways to activate your self-care community.  

1) Customizing a Self-Care Plan is a preventative measure. By designing a roadmap that is unique to you, in moments when you’re NOT in crisis, you’re directing your best self to reflect on what you may need (and have access to) in your worst moments. The reality is that only YOU know how intense your stress levels can get and what resources are available to you. Write that sh*t down.

2) Having a plan takes the guesswork out of what to do and where to turn in moments of crisis. From a mindfulness point of view, it helps you respond instead of react to the situation at hand. When you have a plan in place, you’ll feel more in control of your circumstances and life won’t feel quite as chaotic. (It also makes it easier to ask for help from those you share your plan with.

3) A Self-Care Plan helps you stay the course. You’ll find it far easier to stick to your personal care strategy and avoid falling into the trap of making excuses. Having a plan helps you establish a routine, ensuring that you and your self-care partners don’t wind up in isolation, but rather check in with each other, hold each other accountable, and share the responsibility to support one another. 

How to Create A Self-Care Plan
Your Self-Care Plan is a road map that you can carry in your back pocket. It’s there to help you walk your talk as well as help you find your way back to equilibrium by providing a clearly defined route back home if you find yourself on off-track. 

Creating and following a plan helps you balance your mental, physical, and emotional needs while reminding you of the important people in your support system and the self-care goals you wish to accomplish. 
How do you begin creating a Self-Care Plan? 

1) First, create an activity list organized around different parts of your life: I’ve found that the easiest way to start is by breaking up this daunting task into several categories, for example:

• Work
• Physical Fitness
• Emotional Life
• Relationships & Community

For each area above, write down the activities or strategies that you can call on, that are authentic to you and contribute to your wellbeing.

Some examples we’ve discussed over the past weeks include spending time with friends, eating healthy, being active, mindfulness meditation, and finding the confidence to create healthy boundaries (here’s a template). Have fun, be creative, and most impprtatnly, be real with yourself about what works for you and what doesn’t.

2) Second, note any barriers that may be in your way and how to shift them. As you write down each activity, ask yourself what barriers might get in the way of you being able to accomplish it. Then, try to strategize ways that you might be able to shift these barriers (FYI, this works even better when you do so with a friend, partnerm or community!).  If you find that you can’t shift the barriers, feel free to adjust the activities. Your Self-Care Plan is NOT written in stone! It’s meant to be a living, breathing guide that adapts as your life circumstances and demands change.

3) Third, share your plan with your closest friends. Don’t forget to rely on your network of self-care buddies, your community of care. Share a copy of your Self-Care Plan with them and ask them to hold you accountable. Encourage them to create their own Plan and share it with you so you can do the same for them.

Example Self Care Plan
Category: Emotional Life

Activities
1) Develop friendships that are supportive
2) Write down three good things that you do each day
3) Do something that brings you joy (Go to the movies, sit in a café, hit the beach, or set off a hike)  
4) Regularly meet with your social group/community of care

Barriers
1. Your friendships are not equal in “give and take.” Shift it: define expectations with your closest friends. Don’t assume your friends know what you need from them.
2. You’re in the habit of negative self-talk. Shift it: every time you catch yourself saying something negative to yourself say the exact opposite to yourself.
3. Don’t have a babysitter or the ability to get away for the evening. Shift it: Activate your self-care community
4) My friends or self-care network don’t have time to meet. Shift it: Set up a meet-up in advance and regularly. Create a monthly calendar.

Make it Visual
I always suggest that, if possible, you make your Self-Care Plan visual. Think of it as your very own personal self-care infographic:
 
Try this:
1) Start by jotting down a list of keywords or phrases from the activities list you created—choose whichever words resonate with you the most. 
2) Then, grab a white piece of paper or a posterboard and transform these into graphic elements. Go ahead and use different colors, drawings, photos, whatever works for you to create visual cues that resonate with you and your plan.

Once you complete your masterpiece, put it somewhere you’re sure to see it every day because doing so will help you think about and (re)commit to your strategies.  A byproduct of keeping it visible is that others will see it, too, and this will encourage them to ask about it, reflect on it, support your efforts, and, just maybe, even get them thinking about creating their own self-care vision. (By the way, I love to see these, so if you create one, please share it in our self-care group!)

Sticking to Your Self-Care Plan
Just like an athlete who trains for a competitive event, Self-Care Plans require that you practice the activities regularly. Be realistic with yourself by remembering that it takes time for a new practice to become a routine. There will be moments when you falter and that’s okay. We’re all human. Don’t punish yourself, but instead refocus and recommit to your plan. This way, if you find yourself on the edge of that void, staring it down, you’ll be prepared. How do you get yourself back on track when you falter? The answer to that question will be different for everyone, and will depend on what’s in your self-care plan. Here’s what works for me:

When I realize I’m beyond the edge in a black hole this is LITERALLY what I do: I have an old fashioned egg timer (you can use your phone timer, too) and I set a timer and allow myself 30 minutes (whatever time works for you) to feel really sorry for myself and mad at myself and beat myself up if I need to. Sometimes I even write it all down. It’s ugly. Usually, by 15 minutes in I’ve exhausted myself. And then I MAKE myself do something that makes me happy even if I’m not in the mood. Last week it was playing Al Green’s “Love and Happiness” in the kitchen super loud and dancing. Sometimes it’s pulling my husband in to swing dance to the Stray Cats with me.

When you just allow yourself to be in the vortex and really lean into it you are usually ready to finally extract yourself. And by having a plan in place for those moments when all seems lost, you can more easily find your way back to center.
As Louis Pasteur once observed, “Chance favors the prepared mind.”"

Stay Healthy, Chaps!
​-Kristi Waidhofer

Life is busy! It seems that we are always running around from one responsibility to the next, hardly getting a chance to catch our breaths. The number one reason why people do not practice mindfulness is because they feel that they don’t have time. In the craziness of the modern world, that is an understandable reason! Yet, there are some meditations that are specifically formulated to be brief and easy, so that you may reap the benefits of mindfulness in the midst of your busy day. What follows is a three-minute breathing meditation, developed by John Teasdale, Mark Williams, and Zindel Segal in “The Mindful Way Workbook”. If you would like an audio version of this meditation, you can find it here: https://www.cmhc.utexas.edu/mindbodylabpage/mbl_audio5.html
Teasdale, Williams, and Segal suggest planning out a specific time during your day to practice the breathing space, such as when you first rise from bed, your lunch break, or during some quiet time after dinner. Planning out a time makes it less likely for you to feel as if you do not have time to create this breathing space.

Three-Minute Breathing Space
Preparation: Begin by deliberately adopting an erect and dignified posture, whether you are sitting or standing. If possible, close your eyes. Then take about 1 minute to guide yourself through each of the following steps.

Step 1: Becoming Aware: Bringing your awareness to your inner experience, ask: What is my experience right now?

• What thoughts are going through your mind? As best you can, acknowledge thoughts as mental events, perhaps putting them into words.
  
• What feelings are here? Turn toward any sense of emotional discomfort or unpleasant feelings, acknowledging their presence.
  
• What body sensations are here right now? Perhaps quickly scan your body to pick up any sensations of tightness or bracing.
  

Step 2: Gathering: Now redirect your attention to focus on the physical sensations of the breath breathing itself. Move in close to the sense of the breath in the abdomen… feeling the sensations of the abdominal wall expanding as the breath comes in… and falling back as the breath goes out. Follow the breath all the way in and all the way out, using the breathing to anchor yourself in the present. If your mind wanders away at any time, gently escort it back to the breath.

Step 3: Expanding: Now expand the field of your awareness around your breathing so that it includes a sense of the body as a whole, your posture, and facial expression. If you become aware of any sensations of discomfort, tension, or resistance, take your awareness there by breathing into them on the inbreath. Then breathe out from those sensations, softening and opening with the outbreath. As best you can, bring this expanded awareness to the next moments of your day.

The breathing space is the best way to step out of automatic pilot and reconnect with the
present moment. This breathing space is meant to bring you out of your buzzing head and into your body so that you can feel the relaxation that comes with following your breath. It can be utilized at any time throughout the day, and is a great calming tool!

Take a deep breath, and stay healthy, Chaps! 

​--Kirsten Dalquist, MSSW Intern

​No matter how busy life gets, it is critical that we remember to take good care of ourselves. In recent years, increasing importance has been placed on self-care-- and for good reasons. One of the best explanations of self-care I’ve heard is that, in an emergency on airplanes, they tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping someone else put on theirs. That’s because we can’t help someone else if we haven’t taken care of ourselves first. The concept of self-care goes beyond our ability to help someone else, however. It recognizes that we really can’t do much of anything unless we have taken measures to fulfill the needs of our bodies, minds, and souls.
Self-care is about preserving, and improving, our health. It ranges from getting enough sleep to washing your car. Any activity that makes you feel happy, accomplished, or healthy could be considered self-care. Here is a list of potential self-care activities: 

• Take a nap 
• Call a friend 
• Clean your room
• Eat nourishing food 
• Engage in your hobby for an hour, or as much time as you will allow yourself
• Create a small “breathing space” every day-- a one-to-three minute time where you connect with your breath and relax
• Take a walk in nature 
• Cook or bake your favorite meal 
• Do some yoga or stretch out
• Hydrate yourself-- drink an extra glass of water 
• Exercise
• Spend some time away from technology-- turn off your phone! 
• Practice mindfulness
• Journal. Write it out! 
• Drink a cup of hot, soothing tea 
• Cuddle with your pet, or take your dog on a walk 
• Accomplish something that has been on your to-do list for a while
• Keep your future self in mind -- for example, prepare your food for work or school the night before, so that you won’t have to rush to get it ready in the morning
• Hang out with your best friend
• Practice self-compassion-- if you were your own best friend, what are some kind, and truthful, things you would say to yourself?

Self-care should not be a one-time activity. It should be an ongoing practice that enriches your life! When we take care of ourselves, we remember that no matter how stressful or busy life gets, life is still good. We remember that we are worthy of care and love! Take care of yourselves, Chaps.

​--Kirsten Dalquist, MSSW Intern

A Message from EISD and Student Support Services and SEL:
 
On January 22nd, the second annual city-wide “Hi, How Are You?” Day will take place. The mission of this day is to raise awareness around the importance of mental health and to help start conversations with each other. HHAY Project founders Tom Gimbel and Courtney Blanton were inspired by Austin musician and artist Daniel Johnston’s mural on Guadalupe that features a frog asking “Hi, how are you?”  “Clearly, mental health is in the press more than ever, but so much more remains to be done,” said Blanton. “Statistics show us that depression, anxiety, and suicide are on the rise.  Removing the stigma is the first step towards a productive public dialog about mental health.” (https://www.hihowareyou.org/press/)

A number of recent studies have found that expressing gratitude, thankfulness, and appreciation can lead to increased positive feelings and overall well-being. Study participants were asked to participate in activities such as journaling about what one is grateful for (or counting one’s blessings) or writing a letter to someone that has had a positive influence on their life. The studies found that expressing gratitude has been linked with improved life satisfaction, increased optimism, increased happiness, and better sleep quality and duration. Expressing gratitude is also associated with increased empathy, reduced aggression, reduced stress, improved physical health, and improved relationships with others. Research shows that in relationships, people who express more gratitude towards their partners experience more positive feelings towards them and are more comfortable discussing challenges when they arise. A study that looked at managers and employees, found that saying “thank you” can lead to increased motivation and productivity.

How does this all work? One study suggests that regularly expressing gratitude improves mental health outcomes because it shifts our mindset away from ruminating, negative thoughts and emotions. Interestingly, these positive effects occur even when the letters of gratitude are never shared with others. Three months later, participants had their brain activity measured by an fMRI scanner, and gratitude letter writers were found to have increased activity in the prefrontal cortex, an area of the brain responsible for learning and decision making. This study suggests that expressing gratitude might have long-term positive effects on the brain.
​
Harvard Medical School recommends trying some of the following activities to experience the positive effects of expressing gratitude:

• Write a thank-you note, expressing appreciation to someone important in your life.
• Thank someone mentally. You don’t have to tell them, but it wouldn’t hurt.
• Count your blessings by keeping a gratitude journal.

By: Jim Rowell
Social Work Intern

Sources:

• How Gratitude Changes You and Your Brain (greatergood.berkeley.edu)
• In Praise of Gratitude (health.harvard.edu)
• Gratitude and Well Being (ncbi.nlm.nih.gov)
• 7 Scientifically Proven Benefits Of Gratitude That Will Motivate You To Give Thanks Year-Round (forbes.com)

Just as the seasons of the year change from fall to winter to spring and finally to summer as we journey through life, we experience the seasons of life: wellness, illness, and finally death. The seasons of life will be different for every person, unique to each of us. ​

Change doesn't even have to be a death loss or illness but can also just be a change of job, moving, divorce, etc. These are all unexpectedly hard events. I'd like to share a video from our Speaker Series last year where we discussed the way to support our friends and community during hard times. 
Living Losses: Coping When Life Changes Unexpectedly!

In addition to that, I just wanted to share some commonly agreed upon words of comfort versus some common words shared that may not help as much as we intend.

DO SAY

• "Thanks for opening up to me."
• "Is there anything I can do to help?"
• "How can I help?"
• "Thanks for sharing."
• "I'm sorry to hear that. It must be tough."
• "I'm here for you when you need me."
• "I don't know what to say but I'm going to be here for you."
• "Oh man, that sucks."
• "How are you feeling today?"
• "I love you."
• “Anything you want to talk about, I’m here to listen.”
• “Would you like have dinner together?”

Remember that people who are grieving are adjusting to their new normal.  They need to establish new routines. It usually takes at least a couple of years to build a new routine.

DON'T SAY

• “Be strong.”
• “Don’t cry. Your loved one wouldn’t want you to be sad.”
• “Time heals all wounds.”
• “It happened for the best.”
• “Your loved one is no longer in pain.”
• "It could be worse."
• "Just deal with it."
• "Snap out of it."
• "Everyone feels that way sometimes."
• "You may have brought this on yourself."
• "We've all been there."
• "You've got to pull yourself together."
• “I know how you feel.”
• “These things happen”
• “Why are you acting weird?” ​

While we are probably saying these things from a place of love they can often come across as invalidating of the person's experience. Most often someone just wants to know they are not alone with their pain and that someone can sit with them in the hard times without trying to "fix them" or shutting down conversations with platitudes. 

And remember, when you can't find the words, a hug, comforting hand on the back can speak volumes. Let's continue to take care of each other, Eanes. 

Stay Healthy, Chaps!
-Kristi Waidhofer