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A simple trick to increase happiness

11/28/2018

 
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Have you ever realized that when you’re in a bad mood, you are more likely to react negatively to what happens during the day? On the other hand, have you ever noticed that when you’re in a good mood, those same happenings wouldn’t bother you? The way we think determines how we live. Our interpretation of what we see, hear, and feel colors our living experience. One tool that you can use to lessen negativity is to realize that your thoughts are not facts— they are just thoughts. John Teasdale, Mark Williams, and Zindel Segal (2014) describe thoughts as “passing mental events, not ‘you’ or ‘the truth.’” Often, our thoughts are based on limited, subjective bits of information. They do not accurately portray the true reality of any situation. Two people who experience what is objectively the same situation can take completely different meanings from it.

As an example, take the following exercise, which is from “The Mindful Way Workbook: An 8-Week Program to Free Yourself from Depression and Emotional Distress” by Teasdale, Williams, and Segal (2014).

Take a few moments to imagine this scene as clearly as you can:
You are feeling down because you’ve just had a quarrel with a colleague at work. Shortly afterward, you see another colleague in the hall and she rushes off quickly, saying she can’t stop.

What thoughts would go through your mind?

Now imagine this scene:
You are feeling happy because you and a work colleague have just been praised for good work. Shortly afterward, you see another colleague in the hall and she rushes off quickly, saying she can’t stop.

What thoughts would go through your mind?

Now compare the latter scenario to the former: is there anything that strikes you about the difference in your thoughts in the two situations?

This example shows two instances of exactly the same objective situation— the colleague saying she couldn’t stop— but two very different interpretations. Did you feel upset, offended, or angry in the first scenario? Did you feel unbothered in the second? The frame of mind we bring to our experiences determines the outcome of those experiences. Teasdale, Williams, and Segal (2014) explain that “our interpretations of events reflect what we bring to them as much as, or more than, what is actually there. Thoughts are not facts (even the ones that say they are!).”

Our internal dialogue is very real to us, but for our own mental health, we need to remember that our thoughts are not accurate sometimes! The next time you feel upset, try to examine the objective situation and take in as much information as you can from other sources. Did your frame of mind taint your experience? Teasdale, Williams, and Segal (2014) write that “the crucial thing is to learn a new relationship to thoughts— to relate to them as thoughts, mental events that arise and pass away in the mind— rather than as the truth of ‘how it really is.’ That way, you can release the mind and body from the grip of the thought-feeling loops that keep you trapped in emotional pain.”

Stay happy, Chaps!

—Kirsten Dalquist, MSSW Intern


Giving Thanks Is Good for You

11/15/2018

 
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A number of recent studies have found that expressing gratitude, thankfulness, and appreciation can lead to increased positive feelings and overall well-being. Study participants were asked to participate in activities such as journaling about what one is grateful for (or counting one’s blessings) or writing a letter to someone that has had a positive influence on their life. The studies found that expressing gratitude has been linked with improved life satisfaction, increased optimism, increased happiness, and better sleep quality and duration. Expressing gratitude is also associated with increased empathy, reduced aggression, reduced stress, improved physical health, and improved relationships with others. Research shows that in relationships, people who express more gratitude towards their partners experience more positive feelings towards them and are more comfortable discussing challenges when they arise. A study that looked at managers and employees, found that saying “thank you” can lead to increased motivation and productivity.

How does this all work? One study suggests that regularly expressing gratitude improves mental health outcomes because it shifts our mindset away from ruminating, negative thoughts and emotions. Interestingly, these positive effects occur even when the letters of gratitude are never shared with others. Three months later, participants had their brain activity measured by an fMRI scanner, and gratitude letter writers were found to have increased activity in the prefrontal cortex, an area of the brain responsible for learning and decision making. This study suggests that expressing gratitude might have long-term positive effects on the brain.
​

Harvard Medical School recommends trying some of the following activities to experience the positive effects of expressing gratitude:
  • Write a thank-you note, expressing appreciation to someone important in your life.
  • Thank someone mentally. You don’t have to tell them, but it wouldn’t hurt.
  • Count your blessings by keeping a gratitude journal.

By: Jim Rowell

Social Work Intern


Sources:
  • How Gratitude Changes You and Your Brain (greatergood.berkeley.edu)
  • In Praise of Gratitude (health.harvard.edu)
  • Gratitude and Well Being (ncbi.nlm.nih.gov)
  • 7 Scientifically Proven Benefits Of Gratitude That Will Motivate You To Give Thanks Year-Round (forbes.com)

Offering Support in the face of Grief

11/8/2018

 
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Just as the seasons of the year change from fall to winter to spring and finally to summer as we journey through life, we experience the seasons of life: wellness, illness, and finally death. The seasons of life will be different for every person, unique to each of us. ​

Change doesn't even have to be a death loss or illness but can also just be a change of job, moving, divorce, etc. These are all unexpectedly hard events. I'd like to share a video from our Speaker Series last year where we discussed the way to support our friends and community during hard times. 
Living Losses: Coping When Life Changes Unexpectedly!

In addition to that, I just wanted to share some commonly agreed upon words of comfort versus some common words shared that may not help as much as we intend.

DO SAY
  • "Thanks for opening up to me."
  • "Is there anything I can do to help?"
  • "How can I help?"
  • "Thanks for sharing."
  • "I'm sorry to hear that. It must be tough."
  • "I'm here for you when you need me."
  • "I don't know what to say but I'm going to be here for you."
  • "Oh man, that sucks."
  • "How are you feeling today?"
  • "I love you."
  • “Anything you want to talk about, I’m here to listen.”
  • “Would you like have dinner together?”

Remember that people who are grieving are adjusting to their new normal.  They need to establish new routines. It usually takes at least a couple of years to build a new routine.

DON'T SAY
  • “Be strong.”
  • “Don’t cry. Your loved one wouldn’t want you to be sad.”
  • “Time heals all wounds.”
  • “It happened for the best.”
  • “Your loved one is no longer in pain.”
  • "It could be worse."
  • "Just deal with it."
  • "Snap out of it."
  • "Everyone feels that way sometimes."
  • "You may have brought this on yourself."
  • "We've all been there."
  • "You've got to pull yourself together."
  • “I know how you feel.”
  • “These things happen”
  • “Why are you acting weird?” ​

While we are probably saying these things from a place of love they can often come across as invalidating of the person's experience. Most often someone just wants to know they are not alone with their pain and that someone can sit with them in the hard times without trying to "fix them" or shutting down conversations with platitudes. 

And remember, when you can't find the words, a hug, comforting hand on the back can speak volumes. Let's continue to take care of each other, Eanes. 

Stay Healthy, Chaps!
-Kristi Waidhofer

Don’t Make This Mistake First Thing in the Morning!

11/1/2018

 
"When we roll out of bed in the morning—or even before we get out of bed—many of us pick up our phones. As it turns out, this behavior is quite damaging. Scientifically, your morning mind is more susceptible to being influenced and distracted. This happens without us even realizing it, but the information waves it puts in our brains before we’ve even gone to the bathroom or eaten breakfast sets the stage for a distraction-filled, pre-influenced day. Want to get work done? Don’t look at your phone for the first hour of your morning."
Be sure to check out the WHS Challenge Success facebook page for more articles like this one!

Stay Healthy, Chaps!

Katie Bryant

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