Blog Archives

I Used a Gratitude Journal for 7 Days. Here's What Happened...

11/17/2016

I don't know about you but I've still been thinking a lot about gratitude this month. To scratch that itch, I did a little research and a whole lot of reflecting to understand why this topic gets so much press during the holiday season.

I started by reading an article Amit Amin posted to the blog, HappierHuman, about 31 benefits of gratitude that typically go unnoticed. For you visual learners, he provided an informational flow chart:

The main message that Amin is sending is that expressing gratitude can positively impact every facet of our lives.

The most common method of expressing gratitude is writing in a gratitude journal for five-minutes a day, which Amin suggests can increase long-term well-being by more than 10 percent. "That's the same impact as doubling your income!"

After reading this article, I thought to myself, "Can it really be that easy? Can the simple act of expressing gratitude really improve so many different parts of my life?" I decided to investigate by writing in a gratitude journal for 7 consecutive days.

Here's what happened:

I felt more optimistic. Expressing gratitude allowed me to appreciate the areas of my life that I have been blessed with and recognize what has been going well. How could you not feel more optimistic for the future after doing that?

I felt less stressed. When I noted one thing that I was grateful for at the end of each day, I had a renewed sense of why I do what I do! In turn, I felt a new level of excitement when I had to tackle my to-do list each day.

I felt more sociable and outgoing. I noticed a pattern when I wrote down that I was thankful for a person, friend, or family member - by doing so, this usually made me feel more outgoing and positive in my social interactions. It was like a self-fulfilling prophecy: recognizing the good attributes of the people in my life inspired me to try to be more like them.

I felt more motivated. Recognizing the areas of my life that I was grateful for inspired me to do more. Taking time to reflect on what I've already accomplished motivated me to continue working hard and to set new goals for the future.

I felt more joyful. In a week, I noticed the benefits of gratitude much sooner than I anticipated. From increased motivation, to feeling more sociable, to a decrease in stress, to feeling more optimistic - all of these advantages boosted my mood and increased my overall happiness.

"Gratitude is no cure-all, but it is a massively underutilized tool for improving life-satisfaction and happiness."

With the holiday season among us, it's the perfect time to start reflecting on what you're thankful for. I challenge you to start expressing your gratitude and reap these awesome benefits!

Stay grateful, Chaps!
- Alaina

Media Rules...

11/10/2016

As we begin to participate in the Challenge Success program, I encourage you all to look at their website. If you have facebook, I would suggest you follow them! They are a wealth of knowledge on important topics that we as parents face with our adolescents. They also highlight many issues that our teens are facing every day.
Below is information from one of the sessions from the Challenge Success conference that we participated in this fall. As a parent and counselor, I don’t think you can ever have too many social media tips!

With the event title, Media Rules, Challenge Success played on three different definitions of the word rules as it relates to media:

Media is cool; it's awe-inspiring; it’s a positive force — it rules.
What are the rules of media to follow in order to maintain balance, safety, and health for your family?
Media rules all of our lives. It can feel overwhelming and all-encompassing in everything we do.

Though it was an ambitious topic to fully cover in a 1.5 hour program, Dr. Steiner-Adair, along with our Co-Founders, Dr. Denise Pope and Dr. Madeline Levine, provided our community with important research and offered specific advice on how to navigate the media revolution — see below for two lists that highlight some of our favorite takeaways from the event.

Living in the Digital Age

In the United States, the average age that kids get their first smartphone is 10 years old.

The manner in which teenagers use technology is generally positive, but the amount of time spent using technology is concerning. Middle schoolers are on devices for non-academic reasons from 2 to 5 hours a day. High schoolers are on screens for non-academic reasons for an average of 9 hours a day; this is more hours per day than they sleep!
Never before has it been possible to connect with friends and family 24/7. Technology can strengthen our relationships, but paradoxically, it can also strain them.

With unlimited access to technology, we have lost the boundaries between home and school, and home and work.

Kids have unprecedented access to the adult world via the internet. There is a premature loss of innocence that is occurring with widespread connectivity.

TV watching is passive; phones are stimulating. Human brains crave the stimulant.

A generation ago, kids would come home in the afternoon and have a break from the social drama at school. Today's kids don't have that luxury. Often, they return home and immediately log in to technology where the social pressures continue to play out.

Texting eliminates two of the most essential tools for healthy relationships — tone of voice and the opportunity to see the impact of your words on the recipient.

Kids experience FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) if they do not check social media while studying.

Every time a student takes a “break” from studying to respond to a text, he/she loses the previous 9 minutes of what has been learned. These quick "breaks" are counterproductive to the learning process.

Tips to Manage Media

Restrict the use of devices in the car. Car rides offer a great opportunity for conversation with our children. When parents talk on the phone while driving with kids, we inadvertently tell them that a conversation with the person on the other end of the phone is more important than an in-person discussion with them.

Prohibit devices at the dinner table; this is sacred family time which should be preserved.

Talk with your children about appropriate online conduct. Many adults are naive about their children’s exposure to harmful online behavior. Even if your own children’s usage is benign, it’s likely that they have observed poor behavior by others.

Don’t text your kids during the day at school; it’s distracting. It makes children anxious when parents innocently text, "How'd you do on the test, honey?" This takes away their independence and the parent-child separation they deserve during school time.

Avoid reaching for your phone first thing in the morning. What you see in your inbox instantly frames your day and doesn't allow you the opportunity to create your own agenda — it immediately places you in a reactive mode.

Have your kids disengage from technology at least 30 minutes, preferably an hour, before bed. The blue light that devices emit stimulates the retina and decreases the brain's production of melatonin, which makes falling asleep more difficult.

Set a time in the evening by which all devices are out of the bedroom. Not only will your teenagers get more sleep, but this “curfew” will help support time management skills.

Teenagers (and adults) should not use their phones as alarm clocks. If a phone is by their bedside, they will be tempted to respond to texts and social media, which will delay or interrupt sleep.

Through middle school, look through your children’s texts and let them know you’re doing it. Don’t view this as policing, but rather trying to give them perspective that their online activity is never truly private.

Be curious; don’t stick your head in the sand out of fear of finding out what your kids are doing online. Display interest and create a dialogue — they are often doing something productive and would value your genuine interest and support.

Here is a reminder on what Challenge Success is -
Strategies for Healthy, Well-Balanced Kids and Stronger Schools
At Challenge Success, we believe that our society has become too focused on grades, test scores, and performance, leaving little time for kids to develop the necessary skills needed to become resilient, ethical, and engaged learners. We provide schools and families with the information and strategies they need to create a more balanced and academically fulfilling life for their kids.

Not allowing media to rule - Katie Bryant

5 Ways to Increase Happiness!

11/3/2016

We have officially entered the month of November which by trade brings about an opportunity to practice gratitude. The practice of reflecting on the things we are grateful for has been clinically proven to improve one's happiness and overall health.

Armed with all the reasons why gratitude practice is important I wanted to give you some challenges for helping to increase happiness.

This article outlines 5 different ways to achieve that goal! Here's an except with an easy activity to try:

"Many of those good things lie just outside our doorstep, and we can practice noticing them on a Savoring Walk. Here, you take a 20-minute walk and observe the sights, sounds, and smells you encounter—freshly cut grass, an epic skyscraper, a stranger’s smile. Each time you notice something positive, take the time to absorb it and think about why you enjoy it. On your subsequent Savoring Walks, strike out in different directions to seek new things to admire.In a study by Fred Bryant of Loyola University Chicago, participants who took Savoring Walks daily for a week reported greater increases in happiness than participants who went for walks as usual. “Making a conscious effort to notice and explicitly acknowledge the various sources of joy around us can make us happier,” write Bryant and Joseph Veroff in the book Savoring."

Be sure to read the article to learn about the other fantastic ways to help cultivate this gratitude and happiness.

I also wanted to highlight last week's Speaker Series with Vanessa Flores. She talked about The Self-Compassionate Parent (click here to see the video!) and lead parents through a series of different self-compassion exercises. Our parents were so touched many of them were moved to tears. We cannot underestimate how important it is to be kind to ourselves! It often makes me think about the warning messages flight attendants give on the plane - You have to put on your oxygen mask first before assisting others with theirs. The same rules apply in life. Unless we are taking the time to be kind, supportive, and loving to ourselves we will not truly be able to offer that warmth, love, and support to others. Be sure to be grateful for yourself and make yourself a priority!

Stay Healthy and Happy, Chaps!
-Kristi

I Used a Gratitude Journal for 7 Days. Here's What Happened...

Media Rules...

5 Ways to Increase Happiness!

Archives

Categories