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Can we teach our children to be happy?

9/29/2016

 
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Lauren Knight, writer for the Washington Post, contemplated on the possibility of teaching our children the art of happiness. "As parents, it is our job to guide our children in many areas of life: we toilet train them, we teach them self-care and manners, we teach them how to read, what to do in an emergency, how to cross the street safely. But can we teach them to be happy?"

We can!

Ahaparenting.com suggests a few ways to teach children to be happy:
1. Teach self-management habits that create happiness, such as regular exercise, healthy eating, and meditation.
2. Cultivate fun. The more you laugh, the happier you are. In fact, forcing a smile can actually make you happier too! 
3. Teach mood management. Acknowledge a bad mood, feel the emotions, learn to let it go, and shift your mindset to a positive one.
4. Model positive self-talk. Happy people tend to give themselves ongoing reassurance, acknowledgment, praise, and pep talks.
5. Cultivate optimism. Some of us may be more pessimistic  than others, but we can all cultivate an optimistic mindset.
6. Help them to find joy in everyday things. People who notice the small miracles of daily life, and allow themselves to be touched by them, are happier overall.
7. Support prioritizing relationships. People who are happier tend to have more people in their lives, with deeper relationships.
8. Help them to develop gratitude. People who try to consciously cultivate gratefulness are rated as happier by those who know them.
9. Counteract the idea that happiness can be bought!
10. Leave room for grief.
Even the happiest person feels low. Acknowledge sad feelings - this deepens the ability to experience joy!
11. Help them to learn the joy of contribution. The pride of contributing to the betterment of society makes us happier while making a positive difference.

 
In turn, increased happiness has been connected to higher levels of success. Shawn Achor of  
The Happiness Advantage says, "When we are in a positive mindset, our brains become more engaged, creative, motivated, energetic, resilient and productive at work.” This is because, contrary to what many believe, success does not breed happiness - in fact, the opposite is true. Happier people are more likely to be successful!


It's never too late to start creating positive habits. By making an effort to model, practice, and encourage these aspects in children, we can strengthen their mindsets, enhance their happiness, and help them to be successful in all aspects of life.

Take a minute to watch Shawn Achor's TEDTalk, "The Happy Secret to Better Work," to hear more about how happiness influences success.


Have a great week, Westlake!
- Alaina

What a Stanford Dean Says Parents are Doing That’s Ruining Their Kids

9/22/2016

 
Here's a blog I recently came across that has been circling among the the high school teachers and parents on facebook...

"This week, I sat in an auditorium with a couple hundred other parents at my daughter’s high school to hear what author and former freshman dean of Stanford University, Julie Lythcott-Haims, had to say about an epidemic of “
over parenting” and the ways that this trend is influencing an entire generation of kids.  Lythcott-Haims has experienced the problem first hand as a college administrator and has written the book, How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success, to document her experience and help parents reprioritize and refocus."


"To conclude the lecture, Julie gave the audience the ultimate take away.  These are the two best things that each of us can do for our kids to help them become successful adults:
1 – Give them chores.
2 – Teach them to love.
Really. It’s that simple." 

I am excited to read this book! I've heard excellent reviews from many of our parents and staff.  I am also rereading/relistening to The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting by Brene Brown.
As I read the above blog, I immediately thought of way Brene talks about parenting and who we are as parents.  


If you are interested in joining a parent led book study on 
​
How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success
,
please email kbryant@eanesisd.net

Self-Compassion - An Essential Life Skill!

9/15/2016

 
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"With self-compassion, we give ourselves the the kindness and care we'd give to a good friend." - Kristin Neff

Kristin Neff is a guru in all things Self-Compassion and makes an excellent case for utilizing self-compassion daily. Be sure to check out her website for a deeper understanding about what self-compassion IS and what it IS NOT as well as exercises to cultivate self-compassion!

We know that high school is one of the most stressful parts of your teenagers life right now. This article discusses how one can use the tool of self-compassion to actually lower stress in a teenager's life. It has plenty of great tips! 

We also like the cheat sheet on how to NOT be hard on yourself AKA how to learn self-compassion! 

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​Check out Kristin's TEDTalk about the space between self-esteem and self-compassion - it's an important one!!
In terms of the ability of our children (and ourselves) to learn how to lower the stress in our lives, self-compassion and resiliency (the ability to bounce back under stressful conditions) go hand in hand. 

Take this quiz to learn how resilient you are! 

Once you've learned about your own resilience, read this article to learn 5 Ways to Build Resiliency Every Day!

It's our hope that between cultivating self-compassion and resiliency our students can lead less stressful lives, feel equipped to handle any new challenges, and can maintain a healthy balance while navigating this journey! 

To learn even MORE about self-compassion don't miss out on the next Speaker Series October 27th when Vanessa Flores, LCSW, presents about The Self-Compassionate Parent!

Thanks,
Kristi and Katie 

Don’t trust your friends’ advice on getting into college

9/7/2016

 
"It’s that time of year again when high school seniors have to seriously turn their attention to applying to college — at least those who intend to go to college and who haven’t already started obsessing on the process. Every year college admissions counselors try to help kids put their best foot forward to colleges and universities — even when students don’t listen and think they know better. Here, in the spirit of being helpful, is some advice from the experts, college admissions counselors who have learned these tips the hard way."   
​

I wish there was a way for our students (and community) to realize that college is going to be what you make of it.  Just because you get into some big name school, that does not mean that you will be happier or enjoy your college experience any more than the kid that attends a small college that no one has heard of.  

Instead of having a "reach" school, let's have the "best fit" school as part of the process!  

Here's another article that discusses "The Myth of the Ivy League" - 

"Every parent wants to see their child thrive. So understandably, many parents dream of taking that photo with their son or daughter, beaming in front of ivy-laced brick buildings, diploma in hand.
But I have that photo. And it isn’t worth nearly as much to me as my understanding of my own talents and skills, and the knowledge that my parents support them. It took me a long time to realize that my success is based on my drive and not the name of my alma mater. This is something all students should be raised to believe.
How much happier would our kids be if we gave them the space to succeed in ways that make sense to them? The more we can do so, the more we’ll empower our children to truly reach their full potential. If you teach your child to find inspiration everywhere, to work hard on the things they love, and to keep trying despite obstacles, they will not fail. Their success may look a bit different from what you pictured, but it will be your child’s own."

We can continue to set high standards for our students and we know that many set high standards for themselves, but let's also support and encourage those that are wanting to go against what they perceive as the WHS norm in this whole college admission process!



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- Katie Bryant

National Suicide Prevention

9/6/2016

 
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September is National Suicide Prevention Month. Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death for ages 10-24. Every single day there are over 5,000 suicide attempts by young people grades 7-12. Four out of five teens who attempt suicide have given clear warning signs.

EVERYONE plays a part in prevention! This year we are asking that you "be the one to_____" (fill in the blank). Be the one to ask. Be the one to help. Be the one to listen. Be the one to comfort. Be the one to reach out.

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To support our students we are asking all Westlake students to download A Friend Asks on to their iPads. A Friend Asks is a user-friendly app to learn more about the warning signs of suicide and mental health illness and how to access help! We recommend that parents download this app as well as it's extremely informative!
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The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline has also featured the MY3 App. This app features an easy way of organizing your support systems (namely the top 3 people you'd call) plus includes other resources to support someone in crisis! 

As always we want to make sure everyone has access to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline phone number! Download this card to carry in your wallet or save the number into your phone! 
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And for when talking is just too overwhelming keep the Crisis Text line in mind and send a text "HELLO" to 741-741.

Be sure to check out this helpful article as well: 15 Resources That Could Help Save A Life!

Be the one to stay healthy, Chaps!

​-Kristi Waidhofer

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