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SUPPORTING STUDENTS THROUGH GRIEF & LOSS

4/25/2018

 
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The death of a loved one is a topic that is not often openly discussed. Despite the lack of open conversations around grief and loss, it is a pervasive problem that impacts many students in the Westlake High School community. According to the New York Life Foundation, nearly 1 in 20 children will lose a parent before the age of 16. In addition, a vast majority of children will experience the loss of a family member or friend before completing high school.

This widespread issue can impact children and adolescents in many different ways. Everyone’s grief is going to look different - The developmental age of the child and the type of death will further impact their individual grieving process. However, some typical reactions to the death of a loved one include:
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-Emotions: Disbelief, sadness, anger, relief, guilt, fear, anxiety and curiosity
-Physical symptoms: Loss of appetite, headaches, insomnia, fatigue and    upsetting dreams
-Behavior: Restlessness, hyperactivity, withdrawing, self-destructive behavior, acting out and difficulty concentrating

Many adolescents are left feeling alone as they navigate through the difficult emotions, physical symptoms and behaviors that typically accompany grief. Organizations such as The Shared Grief Project, aim to address the feelings of isolation that often accompany grief and loss by sharing personal stories from high-profile public figures who lost a parent at a young age.

As parents and school staff, we also have an opportunity to help students struggling with grief and loss feel less alone. Here are some things we can do to support our students:

-We can validate and normalize the feelings they are experiencing.
-We can help identify skills that support the coping process, such as journaling, exercise or spending time outdoors.
-We can provide ongoing support and communicate that we are there to listen when they are ready to talk.
-We can open the lines of communication between school and home to ensure the student is receiving the support they need.
-Finally, we can help provide additional support by sharing information about community resources that can help support individuals through the grieving process.

Grief is a complicated and messy journey that can make the normal struggles of adolescence even more difficult to manage. A caring adult is not going to make the pain of losing a loved one go away, but you’d be surprised at the power of a listening ear.

Stay Healthy, Chaps!
-Elizabeth Sterling, MSSW Intern

how to beat fomo (Fear of Missing out)

4/18/2018

 
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These days, there is no doubt that social media takes up a good portion of our lives. Whether we are posting on Facebook, liking someone’s photo on Instagram, or sending a Snap via Snapchat, social media is something that we are involved with on a daily basis. Although it is a useful tool for connecting with friends, it can also give the impression that we are missing out on important events, otherwise known as Fear of Missing Out or FOMO.
For example, let’s say you’re out of town for a family reunion. While at your reunion, you check your Snapchat only to realize your friends back at home had a backyard party due to the nice weather. You might begin to feel anxious that everyone is together without you, preventing yourself from enjoying the reunion you’re actually attending. FOMO often creates social anxiety, leaving us feeling sad or fearful of being left out. It leads us to constantly checking our phones, obsessing over what others are doing, where they are traveling, and who they are with. It makes us question “Why am I not doing that?” and fuels a lack of self-confidence in ourselves. It also takes away from the life experiences we could actually be enjoying at the moment.
So how can we battle the fear of missing out without deleting our social media accounts? Below are some tips to help reduce social media stress.

Make plans to spend time with your friends. If you’re feeling anxious about the bonding you’re not there for, make other plans with your friends so you do get that time together. You might even consider smaller groups or one-on-one plans to create a feeling of being close.

Focus on what you are doing that makes you happy. Being distracted by what others are doing (and what you’re not) can take away from your experiences. Keep your attention on what you’re doing that brings you enjoyment.

Don’t worry about sharing on social in real time. The easiest way to skip FOMO caused by social media is to not go on social media. Of course, that’s easier said than done and we all have photos and videos we want to share with our circles. Try to upload those after the event is over so that you don’t get sucked into the newsfeed spiral of seeing what everyone else is doing when you should be happy in what you’re doing.

Keep in mind people’s social media images differ from real life. A reason why social media is so important to us is because it allows us to create the self-image we desire. We post our most picturesque photos, accomplishments, and experiences to ensure others that “I’m having lots of fun right now” or “I’m living my best life”. It is important to remember that everyone goes through tough times despite what their profile says.         

Stay Healthy Chaps!
​Nora Schultz, MSSW Intern

sexual assault awareness

4/12/2018

 
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​April is Sexual Assault Awareness month, which is an annual campaign to promote awareness of sexual assault and educate each other on how to prevent sexual violence. Here at Westlake, we strive to advocate for those who have been victims of sexual assault and work to prevent it by establishing norms of respect, safety, equality, and helping others. 

What is sexual assault?
Sexual assault happens in every community and affects people of all genders and ages. Sexual assault is any type of unwanted sexual contact. This includes words and actions of a sexual nature against a person’s will and without their consent. A person may use force, threats, manipulation, or coercion to commit sexual assault.
Forms of sexual assault include:
  • Rape or sexual violence
  • Child sexual assault and incest
  • Sexual assault by a person’s spouse or partner
  • Unwanted sexual contact/touching
  • Sexual harassment
  • Sexual exploitation and trafficking
  • Exposing one’s genitals or naked body to other(s) without consent
  • Masturbating in public
  • Watching someone engage in private acts without their knowledge or      permission
  • Nonconsensual image sharing

Who does sexual assault impact?                                                                        Victims of sexual violence include people of all ages, races, genders, and religions — with and without disabilities.
  • Nearly one in five women in the United States have experienced rape or attempted rape some time in their lives.
  • In the United States, one in 71 men have experienced rape or attempted rape.
  • Victims often know the person who sexually assaulted them.                   
  • Nearly three out of four adolescents (74%) who have been sexually assaulted were victimized by someone they knew well..
  • One-fifth (21.1%) were committed by a family member.
  • 51.1% of female victims of rape reported being raped by an intimate partner.

What is consent?                                                                                                  Consent must be freely given and informed, and a person can change their mind at any time. Consent is more than a yes or no. It is a dialogue about desires, needs, and level of comfort with different sexual interactions.                                Choosing to violate another person is not about “drinking too much,” “trying to have a good time,” or “getting carried away,” nor is it about the clothes someone was wearing, how they were acting, or what type of relationship they have with the person who abused them. Violating another person is a choice.

How to get help?
If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual assault it is important to know your rights and how to get help. Victims of crime have rights that depend on the laws of the location (state, territory, tribe) where the crime occurred. Some of the laws that might apply to you if a person has committed the crime of sexual assault against you include:
  • Availability of a forensic exam (rape kit) at no cost to you
  • Confidential access to victim advocates
  • Time limits (statute of limitations) on reporting a sexual assault to the police
  • Mandated reporting of the assault if you are a vulnerable person (child or elder adult)
  • Confidential communication with service providers
  • Testing or storage of evidence kits
  • Possible financial compensation for you as a crime victim

Other resources include: 
  • The Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network (RAINN) Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 or access RAINN’s online chat
  • National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC) offers a directory of Victim/Survivor support resources for every region. https://www.nsvrc.org/

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Stay healthy Chaps!
Nora Schultz, MSSW Intern

Calendars and Time Management!

4/5/2018

 
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We want you to finish the school year strong so we're happy to feature Ed Tech Lisa Johnson again with some valuable information! 
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The topic of calendars and time management came up multiple times this year with students, staff, and parents so we felt we should devote some time to the topic and share some resources to support it. If you are familiar with CASEL’s Social and Emotional Learning Competencies, time management would most likely fall under the self-management category which encompasses skills like goal-setting, organization, self-motivation, and self-discipline.

Time Management is More than just Managing your Time
I know it sounds redundant… but time management encompasses so many more skills than just minimizing distractions and procrastination. The Balance has an article that delineates an impressive A-Z list with 34 bullets. I chose to highlight 7 of the 34 below:                
                 
  • Allocating time for specific tasks.
  • Attacking more complex tasks when you have the highest energy and sharpest concentrations.
  • Auditing how time is spent.
  • Breaking broader goals into smaller parts.
  • Creating daily, weekly, and monthly to do’s.                    
  • Planning your day the night before or first thing in the am.
  • Prioritizing a list of projects and focusing on higher value tasks with more immediate deadlines.

Apps for Calendars and Time Management
While Google Calendar is one of the go-to apps for course information and test/project dates, I did want to share a few others that might be helpful for organization, planning, and productivity.

  • Google Calendar: Most of the secondary classes use Google Classroom. Each Google Classroom course automatically creates a Google Calendar. Students login to these courses with their Eanes email. When they download the Google Calendar app, they can then simply log in to the app, and all of their course calendars appear without having to subscribe to them.
  • Wunderlist: Wunderlist (see image below) is a to do list app that works on pretty much every platform. It has a Google sign-in. You can easily create multiple lists (and collaborative lists) within the app. You can also create a folder for a class and then compose multiple to do lists within that folder. One might need a to do list for a project with multiple entries (e.g. research, citations, revising and editing) and another one for a test (e.g. read chapter 12, study vocabulary words, complete study guide, etc…).
  • Google Keep: Google Keep is available with a Google sign-in and is kind of like a visual to do list Pinterest board. You can create multiple entries (and collaborate on those entries). Entries can include lists, photos, etc...
30/30: This app is great for managing tasks and productivity. It is similar to the Pomodoro method in some ways as it incorporates a timer. The idea is that you color code what you need to do and assign a time to each and then you start the timer. When the timer is over, you move on to the next task.
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Analog Ways to Manage Time and Calendars     
Recently, I noticed a colleague of mine using a template to map out her week. I inquired about her process and then asked if it was okay to borrow the template and revise it for student use. What you see below is just that. It is a simple week overview that includes a few vital sections (e.g. priority items, things that can be done “anytime this week”, “upcoming tests and projects” that need to be on the student’s radar, events that will happen on the weekend, and things to keep in mind that they might need to prepare for “next week”).  
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On the back of the form (pictured below) are several questions to help guide the planning process. After a few iterations of this document and some student feedback, I have also added a month at a glance calendar that includes some basic campus events (e.g. holidays, early release, no homework nights, AP testing, etc…).
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The calendar is a PDF and is available as a free download linked here.

WHS Tech Talks
We also wanted to let you know that we have started a Tech Talk video series this 2017-2018 year. The previous titles are listed below:

  • Digital Distractions and Social Media
  • Note-taking and Digital Organization with the iPad
  • Study Skills

If you would like to see the full webinar content for the “Calendars and Time Management” session and/or check out any of the previous topics, they are linked here.

Stay Healthy, Chaps!
​Lisa Johnson 


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