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Three-Minute Breathing Space

2/19/2019

 
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Life is busy! It seems that we are always running around from one responsibility to the next, hardly getting a chance to catch our breaths. The number one reason why people do not practice mindfulness is because they feel that they don’t have time. In the craziness of the modern world, that is an understandable reason! Yet, there are some meditations that are specifically formulated to be brief and easy, so that you may reap the benefits of mindfulness in the midst of your busy day. What follows is a three-minute breathing meditation, developed by John Teasdale, Mark Williams, and Zindel Segal in “The Mindful Way Workbook”. If you would like an audio version of this meditation, you can find it here: https://www.cmhc.utexas.edu/mindbodylabpage/mbl_audio5.html
Teasdale, Williams, and Segal suggest planning out a specific time during your day to practice the breathing space, such as when you first rise from bed, your lunch break, or during some quiet time after dinner. Planning out a time makes it less likely for you to feel as if you do not have time to create this breathing space.

Three-Minute Breathing Space
Preparation: Begin by deliberately adopting an erect and dignified posture, whether you are sitting or standing. If possible, close your eyes. Then take about 1 minute to guide yourself through each of the following steps.

Step 1: Becoming Aware: Bringing your awareness to your inner experience, ask: What is my experience right now?
  • What thoughts are going through your mind? As best you can, acknowledge thoughts as mental events, perhaps putting them into words.
  • What feelings are here? Turn toward any sense of emotional discomfort or unpleasant feelings, acknowledging their presence.
  • What body sensations are here right now? Perhaps quickly scan your body to pick up any sensations of tightness or bracing.

Step 2: Gathering: Now redirect your attention to focus on the physical sensations of the breath breathing itself. Move in close to the sense of the breath in the abdomen… feeling the sensations of the abdominal wall expanding as the breath comes in… and falling back as the breath goes out. Follow the breath all the way in and all the way out, using the breathing to anchor yourself in the present. If your mind wanders away at any time, gently escort it back to the breath.

Step 3: Expanding: Now expand the field of your awareness around your breathing so that it includes a sense of the body as a whole, your posture, and facial expression. If you become aware of any sensations of discomfort, tension, or resistance, take your awareness there by breathing into them on the inbreath. Then breathe out from those sensations, softening and opening with the outbreath. As best you can, bring this expanded awareness to the next moments of your day.

The breathing space is the best way to step out of automatic pilot and reconnect with the
present moment. This breathing space is meant to bring you out of your buzzing head and into your body so that you can feel the relaxation that comes with following your breath. It can be utilized at any time throughout the day, and is a great calming tool!

Take a deep breath, and stay healthy, Chaps! 

​--Kirsten Dalquist, MSSW Intern

Happy Healthy Relationship's Day!

2/14/2019

 
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Happy Valentine's Day! We hope today celebrates healthy relationships. How do we know if they are healthy? As a parent it is hard to know how involved you should be – Is it better to lay down the rules? Or mind your own business?

Talking about romance with teenagers can be embarrassing for everyone
involved. However, teenagers look to adults for guidance and we can have more of an impact than we realize.

The Child Mind Institute provides some helpful relationship DOs and DON’Ts
parents can share with their kids.

Do look for someone you feel comfortable with. ‘Comfortable’ has different
definitions for everyone, but it can mean:
            -You can be yourself with this person
            -You can have different opinions on something, and know that it’s okay.
            -You trust each other when you’re not together
            -You aren’t pressured to do things you don’t want to do.

Don’t forget your friends. Some people get so wrapped up in their
relationships that they drop all their friends. While this isolation may be
unintentional, it’s important to have a social life outside your boyfriend or
girlfriend.

Do be your own person. It’s normal to share interests with your significant
other. However, it is important to keep developing an identity outside of that
person. Keep thinking about what you like and what you need.

Don’t hide from problems. A problem in your relationship doesn’t automatically mean it’s doomed, but they will get bigger if you hide from them. It’s better to
admit when something is wrong, talk about it together, and try to fix it together.

Do know the difference between good and bad conflict. Conflict is not
always a bad thing and can bring a couple closer together if handled
appropriately.

Do know the signs of an abusive relationship. According to Love is Respect, here are some warning signs of dating abuse:
            -Checking your cell phone or email without permission
            -Constantly putting you down
            -Extremely jealousy or insecurity
            -Explosive temper
            -Isolating you from your family or friends
            -Making false accusations
            -Mood swings
            -Physically hurting you in any way
            -Possessiveness
            -Telling you what to do
            -Pressuring or forcing you to have sex

The above relationship DOs and DON’Ts are a great place for parents to start
when talking with their teenagers about romantic relationships. It’s important to
listen and communicate with your teen and try to avoid looking squeamish! And do your best to lead by example and model these values in your own
relationships, too.

Stay Healthy, Chaps!

-Kristi Waidhofer and Elizabeth Sterling (previous MSSW Intern)

Self-Care

2/6/2019

 
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​No matter how busy life gets, it is critical that we remember to take good care of ourselves. In recent years, increasing importance has been placed on self-care-- and for good reasons. One of the best explanations of self-care I’ve heard is that, in an emergency on airplanes, they tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping someone else put on theirs. That’s because we can’t help someone else if we haven’t taken care of ourselves first. The concept of self-care goes beyond our ability to help someone else, however. It recognizes that we really can’t do much of anything unless we have taken measures to fulfill the needs of our bodies, minds, and souls.
Self-care is about preserving, and improving, our health. It ranges from getting enough sleep to washing your car. Any activity that makes you feel happy, accomplished, or healthy could be considered self-care. Here is a list of potential self-care activities: 
  • Take a nap 
  • Call a friend 
  • Clean your room
  • Eat nourishing food 
  • Engage in your hobby for an hour, or as much time as you will allow yourself
  • Create a small “breathing space” every day-- a one-to-three minute time where you connect with your breath and relax
  • Take a walk in nature 
  • Cook or bake your favorite meal 
  • Do some yoga or stretch out
  • Hydrate yourself-- drink an extra glass of water 
  • Exercise
  • Spend some time away from technology-- turn off your phone! 
  • Practice mindfulness
  • Journal. Write it out! 
  • Drink a cup of hot, soothing tea 
  • Cuddle with your pet, or take your dog on a walk 
  • Accomplish something that has been on your to-do list for a while
  • Keep your future self in mind -- for example, prepare your food for work or school the night before, so that you won’t have to rush to get it ready in the morning
  • Hang out with your best friend
  • Practice self-compassion-- if you were your own best friend, what are some kind, and truthful, things you would say to yourself?

Self-care should not be a one-time activity. It should be an ongoing practice that enriches your life! When we take care of ourselves, we remember that no matter how stressful or busy life gets, life is still good. We remember that we are worthy of care and love! Take care of yourselves, Chaps.

​--Kirsten Dalquist, MSSW Intern

How to Build Lasting Self-worth

2/1/2019

 
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February kicks off the month of relationships but quite honestly, one of the most important relationships we have is with ourselves. Katie came across this article and shared that she keeps going back to this quote, 

“Real self-worth comes from a much deeper source within us. It comes from an inner acknowledgement that our pursuits are genuine and worthy, regardless of other people’s opinions.....Most of us do care about what others think of us. After all, we are social creatures, and wired to seek appreciation and connection. When our actions are not validated by others, we harbor doubt. When they are criticized, we grow our own voice of self-criticism."

This can be so difficult for us as adults to grasp but try to get a teenager to "get it".  We can talk about self-esteem and self-worth but it can be really scary for any of us to be vulnerable.

Adolescence is a hard time and when you throw in one's self-worth especially if they are struggling, it just adds another layer to the messiness.  I talk with students about this all day long.  But when they walk out my door, it is so hard for many of them to be their authentic self.  

The article also reminded me of the work of Brené Brown and Kristin Neff. If you aren't familiar with them, prepare yourselves for a dive down Youtube because their work just makes sense.

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And remember, when attempting to help our children learn how to see the best in themselves, most of the time it starts with us and then we can guide our kids in the same direction.

Stay Healthy, Chaps!

- Katie and Kristi 

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